Five Mistakes to Avoid When Getting A Divorce

By David P. Badanes, Esq. and Max Glick

All too often, a person going through a divorce will make simple mistakes in judgment as divorce is one of the most stressful times of their life.  Here are five mistakes to avoid when getting a divorce:

Using the Court System to “Get Back” at Your Ex-Spouse

Most of the divorce process is completely different than what you might have seen on television or in the movies.  The Court system is not set up for you to extract “revenge” against your soon-to-be ex-spouse.  Being difficult during the court proceedings to “stick it to your spouse” will undoubtedly harm you by prolonging the case (thereby increasing attorney’s fees and other financial expenses), emotionally harm your children, and hurt your character in the eyes of the Court.  Even if you think the proceedings aren’t “fair”, the Court system should never be used as a weapon against your spouse.  Trying to use the Court system to “get back” against your spouse will almost always work to your detriment.

Financial Implications and Budgets

Another common mistake that can present itself is not recognizing the financial implications of your divorce. It is important to have knowledge of your expenses, income and to have a budget.  You need to consider what living expenses you will incur both during the divorce and after the divorce. Too many times, a divorcing spouse will undervalue their overhead.  It might be a good idea to seek a financial advisor who can help you plan your budget.

Bad Mouthing your Ex-Spouse (when there are children)

If you and your spouse have children, one of the worst mistakes you can make is bad mouthing your spouse to your children.  A Judge will not tolerate this type of behavior.  Moreover, not only does it hurt your divorce case, it hurts the children.  As every Judge will say, while the parents have a right to get a divorce, the children still have 2 parents and they deserve to have a loving relationship with both parents.  One parent’s negative comments about the other parent will simply not be tolerated by the Court.

Not Following Court Orders

One of the worst mistakes you can make is not following Court Orders.  If a Judge issues an Order, he/she expects that Order to be followed.  If you fail to follow the Court’s Order(s), you could be found to be in Contempt of Court.  This could even lead to imprisonment or fines.  Even if the Court does not place you in prison or impose a fine, it certainly will place you in a bad light and work to your detriment.

Being sentimental towards personal property

Most personal property (cars, furniture) is considered marital property and in many instances has little cash value.  You also might have certain property that has mostly sentimental value.  Regardless of the property itself, it is important for you to let go of your nostalgic attachment to it.  Failure to let go of sentimentality could negatively impact your divorce by lengthening the process, thus adding additional costs, and an emotional toll on you as a result.  It might be better to just let go of sentimental property then to fight to keep it.

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. have helped hundreds of clients in their divorce.  David Badanes is well respected throughout the field and has the experience and knowledge to help you.  The Badanes Law Office helps clients in Suffolk County, Nassau County and in New York City.

If you are seeking a divorce, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com.  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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The Ten Steps to Getting a Divorce – The Basic How-To Guide

Divorce is a complicated and stressful situation for everyone involved. And even if you decide divorce is the best decision for yourself and your family, the process of getting a divorce may feel daunting. However, there are specific steps you can take to ease the transition. Following these steps as you approach getting a divorce will help alleviate your apprehension about the process.

Here is the Basic “How-To-Guide” on getting a divorce and the ten steps you can take for a smooth separation:

  1. Make a Priority List: If you are thinking of getting a divorce, the first thing you should do is make a list of what is most important to you—your priority list.  Remember, what is important to you might be trivial to others. For example, couples with young children will likely prioritize their kids on their list.  But for couples with older children or adult children, their retirement funds might be at the top of their list. Keep this priority list for future reference.  During the divorce process, many issues will come up and you want to keep your focus on what is important to you, not something inconsequential.
  2. Research Potential Divorce Attorneys:  Once you know what is important to you, you should research potential divorce attorneys.  You should hire an attorney who specializes in divorce cases and you should interview at least three different attorneys. Do not choose the attorney who promises you that you will get everything you want – that is just unrealistic.
  3. Obtain the Funds to Hire the Attorney and Start the Process:  You will need to have the funds to hire the attorney of your choice.  Every attorney has a slightly different fee structure and will explain to you how much money you need to start the process.
  4. Obtain your Financial Documents:  In just about every contested divorce, you will need to obtain important financial documents. You will need at least these following documents: tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements and retirement statements.  Most attorneys will accept PDF (electronic) copies of these statements. Your attorney will provide you with a more comprehensive list.
  5. Make a Budget:  Eventually post-divorce, you will be responsible for your own finances and will need to have your own budget. It is important to start computing your expenses and your income from the very beginning of the divorce process to prevent any surprises when it’s completed.
  6. Open New Banking Accounts:  Ask your attorney first, but you should be able to open up new individual bank accounts during the divorce process. Once you are divorced, you will need new accounts, so the sooner you have one, the better.
  7. Get a Credit Report and Credit Card:  You can obtain a free credit report from several sources.  You may want to obtain a new credit card and use it for “new” expenses.
  8. Get New Wills, Health Care Proxy, and Power of Attorney:  Whether or not you already have a Will, Health Care Proxy, or Power of Attorney – now is a good time to get one.  You do not want your soon-to-be-ex-spouse to have these powers.
  9. Listen to Your Attorney – Not Your Friends or Family:  During your divorce, you will get lots of free advice from your friends and family.  Your friends/family mean well, but, unless they themselves are divorce attorneys in your State (each State has their own divorce laws), take their advice with a “large grain of salt”.  Listen to your attorney and follow his/her advice.  You hired an expert for a reason.
  10. But, It’s “OK” to Join a Support Group or Find a Mental Health Professional:  Many people who are going through a divorce find it helpful to either find a “divorce support group” or to go to a mental health professional (social worker, psychologist etc.). The support group is there to give you emotional support – not legal advice.  The same would go for any mental health professional.

If you are thinking of getting a divorce you need a professional who will help you throughout the entire process. David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. provides real-world advice to help you through this challenging time

If you are contemplating getting a divorce, and need an attorney to represent you, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office today at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and Uniondale, Nassau County.

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House Hunting During A Divorce

So, you’ve made the decision to purchase a new home. Often times this is an inevitable decision amongst newly divorced individuals. However, buying and searching for a new house, during a divorce is very different than what you went through when you were married or getting married.  Instead of buying a house for a married couple with the chance of a growing family, buying a house during your divorce, probably means that you need less space and will have less funds.

It can be an overwhelming process if you don’t know what you’re looking for ahead of time. Here are a few recommendations to stay on track during the process from Mr. David Badanes Esq. of Badanes Law Office on Long Island.

  • Location: As the old saying goes, “location, location, location” – It is best to limit your choices to where you are going to live. A great way to narrow this down is to decide if you want a city, suburb, or rural landscape and then go from there. If you have children, you should also be mindful of the location of the place in regard to their school and distance of your ex-spouse.
  • Size: Often when you are looking for a new place during or after a divorce, you’re downsizing rather than looking for a larger place. This can help to narrow down your choices when you start looking and you may realize it might be more beneficial to look at apartments or condos instead of new houses.
  • Amenities: Another great way to check places off the list is by looking into the amenities available at each location and figure out which are must-haves for you and which you can live without. For example, some essential amenities include the right number of bedrooms and bathrooms. Other non-essential items that may just be nice to have include central A/C. It can be helpful to have a “wish list” to put some houses in higher standings compared to others.
  • Maintenance & Inspection: If you are looking to buy or rent a new home or apartment it is essential that you get a thorough inspection of the house done by a qualified and neutral inspection team. Take your time to vet the team doing the inspection and ask as many questions as possible. You never want to end up in a scenario where there is more work that needs to be done that you were not made aware of beforehand.
  • Agreements: When you think you’ve finally found the one, read the agreement a handful of times through and then read it one more time for good measure. This is a situation where reading the fine print is necessity to ensure you’re getting all that you paid for and aren’t in for any hidden surprises. This can also be something you have your lawyer review if you’re inclined to have a second pair of eyes.

David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. provides real-world advice to help you through this challenging time. If you are contemplating getting a divorce, and need an attorney to represent you, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office today at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web sitewww.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and Uniondale, Nassau County.

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6 Ways To Save Money While Going Through A Divorce

If you are getting divorced, most likely your financial situation will be negatively impacted, especially while the divorce is going through the court process. If you want to save money, the first thing you will need is a separate bank account to put any saved money into. The next thing to do is to have a budget sheet with your income and expenses stated.

The six ways to save money are:

#1:  Consider getting rid of: cable television, Netflix subscription, and other subscriptions. If you pay for Netflix and cable television, you might want to consider getting rid of one them. You might also have other subscriptions that can be cancelled.

#2:  Make your own lunch, dinner.  Eating out is expensive.  Making your own lunch or cooking your own dinner will save you money.

#3:  Use Coupons. Its sort-of-old-fashioned, but coupons can save you money.

#4: Insurance:  Although, you may be required to maintain insurance during your divorce, you are allowed to switch some insurance policies. You should see if another insurance company can save you money on your premiums. Before you switch, double-check with your divorce attorney.

#5: Downsize your car: You might be able to save money by downsizing the car you are driving or getting a car that gets better gas mileage. Again, you will need to check with your attorney before making this decision.

#6:  Forced savings:  Open up a saving account at a new bank that you don’t currently use.  Every time you get a pay check (or if you don’t get a pay check, then twice a month), take 2% to 10% of your pay check and have it automatically transferred into this new savings account.  Unless, there is an emergency, do not use this new savings account to pay for anything for at least one year.  Even after the one-year period is concluded, see how much you have saved and see what you can re-adjust to keep this account growing.

Saving money during your divorce can be difficult, but, little by little, if you keep saving money, you might be able to get some significant savings.

David Badanes, Esq. and The Badanes Law Office, P.C. have represented and helped numerous clients in their divorce and in helping them get their divorce over as soon as possible. If you are thinking of getting divorced, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office today at 631-239-1702 or email at david@dbnylaw.com.

The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and Garden City, Nassau County.

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When Can I Start Dating If I’m Getting A Divorce?

During your divorce, you might want to start dating again.  If there are no children involved in your divorce, then whether or not you can start dating again is probably a moot point, as most Judges would not prevent you from dating again or even care if you are dating.

The issue of when you can start dating again, typically only matters when there are children involved. Since each divorce is different, there is no “right” answer as to when you can start dating again.  It is best to consult with your attorney on this issue.  However, if you want to start dating during your divorce, here are some of the issues you should consider:

  1. The Relationship with Your Children: Dating during your divorce may have a negative effect on your children and your relationship with them. Your children may rebel against your new “significant other.”  One thing you should never do is allow your children to call your new boyfriend/girlfriend “daddy” or “mommy”.  If you do decide to date, then it is probably best not to have your significant other and your children at the same time.  Your dates should be separate from the time you have your children.  You should not invite your boyfriend/girlfriend to your children’s events.
  2. Your Personal Emotional Health: A divorce is a major change in your life. Entering into a new romantic relationship may not be the best thing for your own personal emotional health.
  3. Impact on Custody and Child Support: If you decide to live with your new significant other, this could have an adverse consequence on the amount of child support you pay (or receive) and also child custody. Living with your new significant other may affect the level of child support you will eventually receive because you are living with another person and sharing expenses.
  4. You Should Focus on your Divorce: Divorces can be time consuming, exhausting, and difficult. It is important to focus the majority of your time and attention on your divorce so you can be fully prepared and focus on the goals you have and the eventual outcome of your divorce.
  5. Difficulty in Reaching a Settlement: If either spouse starts to date before the divorce is final, it could make it more difficult to reach a settlement. The non-dating spouse may become jealous or spiteful and be less open to negotiation. It is a better idea to hold off on dating until a settlement is reach or an agreement is signed.

If you need an experienced divorce attorney, call David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C.  Call David Badanes or the Badanes Law Office at 631-239-1702 or email us at david@dbnylaw.com.  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Suffolk County (Northport) and Nassau County (Uniondale).

Please like us on Facebook to get important legal news, tips and articles: www.facebook.com/BadanesLawOffice.