This can be extremely challenging for both parties. In New York, unless there is domestic violence, you most likely still have the right to live in the same residence while the divorce is ongoing.
Here are seven tips on how to live together while going through a divorce:
#1 – Do not violate the “Automatic Orders”: In New York, in every divorce, there are the “Automatic Orders” that apply to certain activities. As with any Court Orders, if you violate the Automatic Orders, you could be facing Contempt of Court. So, what are the Automatic Orders, a review of them requires its own article/blog, however, in summary: (i) you can’t sell any property during the divorce; (ii) do not change any of your retirement accounts; (iii) do not incur unreasonable debt; (iv) do not remove your spouse or children from any existing medical insurance plans; and (v) do not change the beneficiary on any life insurance plans.
#2 – Avoid each other – as much as possible: Although, you will be living under the same roof, this doesn’t mean that you have to interact while you are in the same house. You should be sleeping in separate bedrooms. Establish a different morning routine, so you do not have to eat breakfast together or even see your spouse. Same for dinner, eat out or eat separately. In the evening, make sure you are in a different room than your spouse. Bottom line, avoid your spouse as much as possible.
#3 – Do not get angry and do not react: Although, you will try to avoid your spouse, invariably you will spend some time with your spouse or “bump” into them, while living under the same roof. It is also very likely that your spouse will either say or do something that is intended to get you angry. You must not get angry or respond. There are many techniques to avoid getting angry. One technique is to simply walk away; another is to count to ten. Whatever you need to do to avoid getting angry or to react, do it.
#4 – Keep track of your expenses and bills: It is extremely important to keep track of your expenses and bills. You will need to provide this documentation to your attorney.
#5 – Do not bring your new partner into the household: Virtually every Judge would frown upon you bringing a new partner into the household. See your new partner outside the house.
#6 – Keep a log (diary): While going through your divorce, it is a good idea to keep a log (diary). The log can just be a simple summary of what happened that day. The log may prove to be very useful in your divorce proceeding.
#7 – Record and Video: In New York State, you can record and videotape your interactions with your spouse, provided that you are part of the interaction. So, if you have a phone with a camera and video capability, then you may want to record and video all your interactions with your spouse.
Getting divorced is hard. Living with your spouse during your divorce can make your divorce even harder. David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office have the experience to provide you with the advice you need while going through a divorce.
If you need a Long Island divorce lawyer, contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office. Call 631-239-1702 or email at firstname.lastname@example.org. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.
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