Tag: parenting time

Your Ex Never Shows Up For Scheduled Visits – What You Can Do

by David Badanes | May 22, 2019

Unfortunately, in some divorces, one of the parents will constantly not show up for their scheduled visits (parenting time) with the parties’ children. This can be especially frustrating when the location for the exchange of the children is at a location that is not your residence. Here are some things you can do if your ex is not showing up for scheduled visits.

  1. Keep a log (diary) of each time that your ex does not show up. Make sure your log states the date and how long you waited. In general, you should wait at least 15 minutes before leaving the exchange location.
  2. Text your Ex. Since virtually everyone has text capability, you should text your ex prior to the exchange time (about 30 minutes before) and then also text your ex when you are at the exchange location. If the exchanges are at your residence, then you can text at the time when the ex is supposed to be there. Make sure to save and print out your text messages.
  3. Send letters to your Ex. After three or more “no shows”, you should send a letter to your ex, stating that he/she did not show up at the exchange time or location. In the letter, you can state that unless your Ex gives prior notice that he/she will arrive on time for the next visitation time, that you will not be there for the next exchange. It is good advice to have your attorney send this letter. It is also good advice to send the letter by certified mail, return receipt requested.
  4. Go to Court. You may want to go to Court to get a Court order stating that you do not have to wait for your ex to show up at the exchange location.

If you are seeking a divorce or need to hire an attorney, please contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office’s phone number is 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit us on Facebook to get important legal news, tips and articles: www.facebook.com/BadanesLawOffice.

What if My Ex-Spouse Excessively Calls or Texts Our Children During My Parenting Time?

by David Badanes | May 17, 2019

With the ease of cell phones, your spouse may abuse his/her privileges to call or text your children during your parenting time. Here are a few tips of what you can do.

  • Establish Set Days & Times For Calls & Texts: One of the most effective methods to limit excessive phone calls and excessive texting, is to have set days and times for such communication. For example, depending on the age of the children, you might want to state that your ex can call or text every night from between 8 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. You also need to explain to your ex that any other calls or text messages will be ignored.
  • Use a Specialized Application (e.g. Family Wizard): If your ex still abuses phone calls and texting, then you can use a co-parenting application that can keep track of the excessive phone calls or text messages.
  • Contact Your Attorney: You can contact your attorney who can then send a “cease and desist” letter to your ex (or your ex’s attorney). The cease and desist letter will inform your ex that they are not to continue their excessive phone calls or excessive texting. If need be, your attorney may have to file a petition to court.

Although, there is no excuse for excessive telephone calls or excessive texting, your spouse does have the right to call and text the children (unless there is a court order that states otherwise). If your spouse is only calling once a day or has a few text messages, then that will be allowed.

Whether you are going through a divorce or you are already divorce, many times one of the issues that leads to conflict is your ex-spouse excessively calling or texting the children. If you are contemplating a divorce or you have been served with divorce papers, then contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Suffolk County and Nassau County. Their phone number is 631-239-1702, David’s email is david@dbnylaw.com or you can visit us on Facebook to get important legal news, tips and articles: www.facebook.com/BadanesLawOffice.

Child Support, Child Custody and Parenting Time in Mediation

by David Badanes | May 14, 2019

Some divorcing couples choose to use mediation when resolving their divorce. For couples who can compromise, mediation may be a good alternative. In many divorces, child support, child custody, and parenting time issues are the most contentious issues. Those issues can also be resolved in mediation.

If you choose to use mediation, then this is how issues surrounding children can be resolved:
Child Support: In New York, there is a child support formula. However, with mediation (and also in a contested divorce), you can choose to modify the amount that the formula calculates. There are many reasons why you might want to modify the amount of child support. Some examples: (i) perhaps one spouse will pay the mortgage instead of child support; (ii) you might receive more in retirement assets: (iii) you might receive more in personal property; and (iv) because each parent has more parenting time, that might be a reason for less child support.

Child Custody: One of the best uses of mediation is in the area of child custody (and parenting time). Mediation allows the parents to be very creative with how to determine the issues of decision making and custody.

Parenting Time: Similar to child custody, mediation allows a lot of flexibility when it comes to parenting time. With mediation, parents can arrange their parenting time that fits their schedule and the children’s schedule.

As with any divorce agreement, it is important that in mediation the written agreement is clear and specific. If you choose to use mediation, make sure that the mediator actually drafts the final divorce agreement. Some mediators will only draft a summary or a “memorandum of agreement”, which is not a full blown divorce agreement.

Although mediation can be a good option, there are situations where mediation is not appropriate. For mediation to succeed, both parents have to be: (1) willing to compromise; (2) be able to talk in a civil and respectful manner to each other; (3) be able to listen to the other parent’s opinions and points of view; (4) ready to get divorced; and (5) willing to present fair and realistic options.

In addition to being an attorney, David Badanes, Esq. is also a mediator. Mr. Badanes has conducted numerous successful mediations. If you are seeking mediation, then contact David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit us on Facebook to get important legal news, tips and articles: www.facebook.com/BadanesLawOffice.

Do I Have To Force My Child To Visit The Non-Custodial Parent?

by David Badanes | January 28, 2019

Legally, the answer may be “yes”. If there is a Court Order requiring “visitation” or “parenting time”, then, you are required to follow the Court’s Order.

However, a parent with a young child versus a parent with a teenager are two very different scenarios. In virtually all situations, a young child will be required to have parenting time with the non-custodial parent. In contrast, a teenager who is over the age of 16 years of age, may not be “forced” to have parenting time with the non-custodial parent.

Although, you are required to follow a Court’s Order, there is also a “reasonableness” and common-sense factor. In other words, there could be an overriding situation, where you do not need to physically deliver the child to the other parent.

For example, if a child is too ill or too sick to visit, then you could legitimately have a valid reason to keep the child at your home. However, the child better be “truly sick”, as the other parent could order a “well check”, by calling the police to see if the child is ill or too sick to visit.

If a child is too ill or sick to visit, or a teenager is refusing to visit the other parent, it is important that you communicate the situation in a timely matter with the other parent. This will make the courts view you in a more positive light, than just not delivering the child at all. It may also help to document each instance of your child’s refusal, and the circumstances surrounding the event.

If your teenager doesn’t want to have parenting time with the other parent, you should try to determine the reasons why. It should not just be because they are “bored”. However, if there is a seriously negative situation at the other parent’s home – i.e. physical abuse – then you should take action in court immediately. You should not just simply stop visitation.

It is important to note that Courts want both parents to be involved in their children’s life. If you cut-off all visitation with the other parent, there could be serious negative consequences to you.  For example, the Court could determine that you are no longer eligible for child support.

If you have questions regarding custody and are thinking of seeking legal action, contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C.  Call us at 631-239-1702 or email David Badanes, Esq. at david@dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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Do I Have To Keep Bringing The Children To See My Ex-Spouse If The Ex-Spouse Constantly Doesn’t Show Up?

by David Badanes | April 25, 2018

In some situations, you may be bringing the children to see your ex-spouse, yet, the ex-spouse isn’t there or constantly doesn’t show up. In those situations, here is what you should do.

  1. If your ex-spouse generally does show up, but isn’t there, then you should give him/her at least 15 minutes to show up. You should also send a text message reminder to your ex-spouse stating that you will be meeting them at the specified time. If, after 15 minutes, your ex-spouse doesn’t show up, then send another text message saying that you are leaving and that he/she can call you when they are ready to pick up the children.
  2. If your ex-spouse hasn’t shown up for months, then you should send him/her a letter, via certified mail, return receipt requested, stating that you will no longer bring the children to see him/her. I would highly recommend having your attorney write this letter. If your ex-spouse responds to the letter, stating that he/she will now show up, then you should bring the children to see him/her.

In situations where the ex-spouse doesn’t show up to see the children, there are no “cookie-cutter” answers. It is important to protect your rights and to make sure that you are not violating any court orders. This is why it is best to make sure that you document what you are doing and to inform your attorney.

If you need help with your divorce, post-divorce or any other issue involving child custody or child support, David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C., have the experience and knowledge to help you. Contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our website: www.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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Can I Make Up Lost Parenting Time With My Children?

by David Badanes | April 18, 2018

After your divorce, if there are children involved, each parent will have designated parenting time (sometimes called “visitation time” or “parental access time”). For example, one parent may have alternating weekends plus weeknight visits, or each parent may have 50% of the time with the children.

Oftentimes, either the non-custodial parent will lose some of their parenting time due to illness, work or some other valid reason. Whether or not that parent is entitled to “make up” time, depends on two factors: (1) Does the divorce agreement address “make up” time for the non-custodial parent’s missing parenting time? and (2) The relationship (or lack thereof) between the two parents.

In most divorces, there will be a divorce agreement (usually called a “Stipulation of Settlement”). The agreement will specify when each parent has parenting time with the children. The agreement can also have a provision for make up time.

However, typically, make up time is for when the custodial parent takes a day or a weekend “away” from the non-custodial parent. This, happens when there is a holiday, birthday, or other special event that takes away from the non-custodial parent’s parenting time. In those instances, the non-custodial parent is “due” make up time as it was the custodial parent who was “at fault” for the non-custodial parent missing parenting time.

In contrast, it is extremely rare for a divorce agreement to address or allow a non-custodial parent make up time for when the non-custodial misses time due to the non-custodial parent’s “fault” (meaning, illness, work or other reason). In those instances, the reason for the missed parenting time was due to the non-custodial parent’s action.

Therefore, unless your divorce agreement explicitly states that the non-custodial parent is allowed make up time due their own illness or other valid reason, in order to obtain make up time, in those situations, is to rely on the relationship between the divorced parents.

If you are lucky enough to have a working relationship with your ex-spouse, then you can always request make up time or to switch parenting time with your ex-spouse. Of course, your ex-spouse is under no obligation to give you make up time, however, perhaps they will realize that in the best interests of the children, it is best that they have as much time with both parents as possible.

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C., have the knowledge and experience to make sure that you receive the best parenting time schedule as possible. If you need an aggressive attorney to represent you in your child custody dispute, then contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office’s phone number is 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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Holidays With Children During Your Divorce Proceedings

by David Badanes | October 30, 2017

You have children and you are in the middle of your divorce and are unsure on how to handle the holiday season. The holiday season can be the most stressful and most contentious part of a divorce.

Here are some tips on helping you get through the holiday season:

  1. Make decisions ahead of time: The time to decide on how to split the holidays is NOW, not on the day before Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah. If you and your spouse can’t come up with a plan, then you need to contact your divorce attorney as soon as possible, so that a plan can be worked out. If necessary, your attorney may need to go to Court to make sure that you get to see your children during the holidays.
  1. Allow the children to spend time with both parents: After your divorce, many divorce agreements will alternate the holidays, such that one parent will get Thanksgiving or Christmas Day one year, and the other parent will get Thanksgiving or Christmas Day the next year. If your divorce is still ongoing, and this is the first holiday that is affected by the divorce, you may want to consider splitting the day or even spending the day together.
  1. But, spend some time with the children alone. If you have some vacation days, or simply on of your usual days off, it might be a good time to spend some time with the children alone around the holidays. Each parent should work out a plan so that they can spend the day or a few days, after Christmas or Hanukkah, alone with the children. This should be a non-stressful vacation day, and not about which parent can out-spend the other.
  1. Gifts: You might be tempted to buy the most expensive or best gift for the children in an attempt to out-gift the other parent. However, with a separation and divorce, money can usually be very tight. Gifts don’t need to be expensive to be appreciated. Sometimes, the least expensive gifts are the ones that are most cherished.

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. have prepared numerous clients in their divorces. If you are thinking of getting divorced, and live in Suffolk County, Nassau County or New York City, call David Badanes at the Badanes Law Office at 631-239-1702 or email at david@dbnylaw.com. We have offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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