What If We Can’t Agree On Who Gets To Keep Living In The Marital Home?

If you and your spouse are getting divorced, and you both live in the marital home, one of the issues that will need to be resolved is: Who gets to keep living in the marital home?

There are many factors that a court would consider in who gets to keep living in the marital home. However, the court always has the option to force you to sell the home. In fact, in most instances, the court will force you to sell the home immediately, or in some cases in a few months or even a few years.

If the court does decide that someone can keep living in the marital home, then the following are some of the factors it will consider:

Children: If your children have been living at that marital home for several years, then the court may not want to disrupt their lives or where they live. This is especially true, if the children are close to graduating high school. Therefore, the parent who is granted custody of the children, would be allowed to continue living with the children at the marital home. However, if a court allows you to remain living in the marital home, it would almost only be until the youngest child graduates from high school.

Finances: The court must consider what is each person’s financial situation. They will only allow someone to live in the marital home if they have the financial income or resources to pay for the mortgage and other expenses related to living in the home.

Ownership of the home, prior to the marriage: In some situations, the court may consider that the person who owned the marital home, prior to the marriage, may be allowed to remain living there. This is often invoked when the home has been in the family over several generations.

Again, it is important to note, that, in most situations, the court will order the sale of the marital home. However, in those situations where the court will allow one person to remain living at the marital home, the factors listed above, can be used to your advantage.

If you want to remain living in your marital home it is important to consult with an experienced matrimonial attorney. David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C., have the experience to help you in your divorce. If you are seeking a divorce, contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office’s phone number is 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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What Are The Differences In Getting Divorced After A Long-Term Marriage?

If your marriage is longer than 25 years and you are getting divorced, there are several potential differences than divorces of couples who are married for less than 20 years.

Typically, marriages of longer than 25 years, the children are either over the age of 18, in college or teenagers. If the children are over the age of 18, there are no issues of custody, as children over 18 years of age are considered adults and not subject to custody. However, you are still responsible to pay child support until a child is 21 years of age.

If the children are older teenagers, then although custody is still technically an issue, the children will have a lot to say as to which parent has custody.

Another difference is that the amount of years that one parent may have to pay spousal maintenance (a.k.a. alimony) is potentially longer for a long-term marriage than a short-term marriage. In New York, typically the amount of years one person may have to pay spousal maintenance is typically based on the length of the marriage, the longer the marriage, the longer the maintenance.

In longer marriages, the married couple may have more assets, or their major asset, their home, may have more net equity than in other shorter-term marriages. Although, the rule is the same, that is, typically all marital assets are divided 50/50, with more assets to divide, their may be more room to trade off assets. For example, one spouse may keep the marital home, but that same spouse may waive the other spouse’s pension.

David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. have handled numerous long-term marriages. David Badanes understands the unique issues and situation that longer-term marriages experience. If you are seeking legal advice, about your divorce, contact David Badanes, Esq. and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. can be contacted at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com. The Badanes Law Office, P.C. has offices in Northport, Suffolk County and in Uniondale, Nassau County.

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Who Decides The Child’s Religious Upbringing?

In a divorce or child custody dispute, one of the areas that must be decided is “what religion the child will be raised in”.  Most of time, the parents will agree that the child will be raised in a particular religion.  However, there are instances where there is a dispute about the religious upbringing or a dispute regarding religion may occur years after the divorce.

As with every custody dispute, the court starts with the “best interests of the child” standard.  The court, cannot impose its own religious preference on a child, it must decide this issue based on the best interests standard.

If the child is already being raised in one religion, and now there is a dispute, the court may lean towards keeping the child raised in the religion that it was initially raised in.  Yet, this is not an absolute, and is only one factor.

What happens, if the parties had previously agreed to raise the child in a particular religion, but, now one party wants to change the child’s religion?  A recent court case states that the provision of a specific religious upbringing within a custody agreement will be enforced, but only to the extent that it remains consistent with the best interests of the child.  In other words, it is improper to only consider the previous custody agreement.  Instead, the court must consider what is the best interests of the child at the present time, which may not necessarily be what the custody agreement states it should be.

What happens if a parent strictly observes their particular religion, which may impose dietary restrictions or other restrictions on the child?  If that parent is given decision-making authority with regards to religion, then it will be appropriate for that parent to impose those restrictions on the child while the child is with that parent. 

However, the court will not force the other parent to impose those religious restrictions, on the child, while the child is with that other parent.  The court will state that this other parent should “make reasonable efforts” to ensure that the child’s religious restrictions are met.

As with most custody issues, there is no definitive answers as to how a court will rule when it comes to religious upbringing.  The only constant, is that the court is to always start with the “best interests of the child” standard. 

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C., have represented countless clients in their divorce.  David Badanes provides real world and legal advice.  If you are thinking of getting divorced, please contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C.  David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office’s phone number is 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com.  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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Dealing With Lack Of Control In A Divorce

When going through a divorce, you may feel that you have little or no control over what your soon-to-be-ex-spouse does, especially when it comes to your children. 

In many divorces, your ex-spouse may not follow your advice as it pertains to your children, for example: (i) not making sure the children do their homework; (ii) not dressing the children properly; (iii) keeping the children up past their typical bed time; or (iv) engaging the children in “risky” behavior.

Depending on the seriousness of what actions your ex-spouse is engaging in, there are ways to help you deal with this “lack of control.”  If it is a truly serious offense, then you must immediately inform your attorney.  Your attorney can request an emergency court hearing to deal with any serious issues.  In this context, “serious”, doesn’t necessarily mean “life or death”, but, it should rise to the level that if some immediate action is not taken, it would result in immediate and harmful consequences.  Of course, if you are not sure, it is always to err on the side of caution, and let your attorney decide if an emergency court hearing is warranted.

However, if the issue is less than a serious one, then you have to decide how you are going to deal with the issue.  You should know for minor issues, the Court is going to have little control over how your ex-spouse behaves, so, going to court, may not be your best option.  Instead, first, try talking to your ex-spouse and explain your issues.  Try not to blame him/her for their behavior, instead, tell that person how you feel and why you think it is important.

Second, perhaps talking to a mutual friend, or one of the ex-spouse’s relatives may help in resolving the issue.

Third, it may help to realize, that you will have to relinquish control.  When it comes to your children, there are many times that you relinquish control, but, do so voluntarily and without issue.  For example, you take your children to school, or take your children to a friend’s house.  In those situations, you also lose some amount of control, yet, you may not feel the same level of anxiety. If you need help, you may need to seek counseling in order to help you through the process.

Finally, most parents discover that over time, they feel more in control, and the level of stress becomes less and less. 

For practical advice about your divorce, contact David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, PC. at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com.  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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Divorce: Focus On What Is Important And Not On The Little Things

If you are in the middle of a divorce or thinking of getting divorced, it is important to focus on what is important and not on the “little things.” Many clients, due to the emotional impact of the divorce or because of revenge, will focus on the little things and not on what is really important.

For example, most of the time it is not important to focus on how to divide the personal property in the house. Usually, the time and energy spent on how to divide the furniture or other items is not worth the cost to do so. Typically, the only time it pays to fight over the furniture is when the furniture is an “antique” or has a significant value.

As another example, couples will argue over how to divide a $200.00 tax refund check or how to pay for a small household expense. It just doesn’t make economic sense to argue over such a small monetary item.

Some clients will state that it’s the “principle”, I have to get this – without realizing that “principle” may not, and probably is not, “the law.”  Furthermore, the principle you are arguing about will cost you more to fight over than to just try to work it out on your own.

Before arguing over an expense or an item, take a deep breath and think before you act. Think: Is this really worth fighting over?  Am I trying to get something on “principle”?  Does this really make a difference?

Instead of focusing on the little things, it is much better to spend your time and resources on things that do matter, for example: Child Custody, Child Support, Spousal Maintenance (alimony), and What to do with the Marital Home?

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office have helped numerous clients in helping them to focus on the important aspects of their divorce. If you live in Suffolk County, Nassau County or New York City and need a divorce (matrimonial) lawyer, then call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office at 631-239-1702, email at david@dbnylaw.com or visit our web site: www.dbnylaw.com.  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport, Garden City, Brooklyn and Manhattan.

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