Five Mistakes to Avoid When Getting A Divorce

By David P. Badanes, Esq. and Max Glick

All too often, a person going through a divorce will make simple mistakes in judgment as divorce is one of the most stressful times of their life.  Here are five mistakes to avoid when getting a divorce:

Using the Court System to “Get Back” at Your Ex-Spouse

Most of the divorce process is completely different than what you might have seen on television or in the movies.  The Court system is not set up for you to extract “revenge” against your soon-to-be ex-spouse.  Being difficult during the court proceedings to “stick it to your spouse” will undoubtedly harm you by prolonging the case (thereby increasing attorney’s fees and other financial expenses), emotionally harm your children, and hurt your character in the eyes of the Court.  Even if you think the proceedings aren’t “fair”, the Court system should never be used as a weapon against your spouse.  Trying to use the Court system to “get back” against your spouse will almost always work to your detriment.

Financial Implications and Budgets

Another common mistake that can present itself is not recognizing the financial implications of your divorce. It is important to have knowledge of your expenses, income and to have a budget.  You need to consider what living expenses you will incur both during the divorce and after the divorce. Too many times, a divorcing spouse will undervalue their overhead.  It might be a good idea to seek a financial advisor who can help you plan your budget.

Bad Mouthing your Ex-Spouse (when there are children)

If you and your spouse have children, one of the worst mistakes you can make is bad mouthing your spouse to your children.  A Judge will not tolerate this type of behavior.  Moreover, not only does it hurt your divorce case, it hurts the children.  As every Judge will say, while the parents have a right to get a divorce, the children still have 2 parents and they deserve to have a loving relationship with both parents.  One parent’s negative comments about the other parent will simply not be tolerated by the Court.

Not Following Court Orders

One of the worst mistakes you can make is not following Court Orders.  If a Judge issues an Order, he/she expects that Order to be followed.  If you fail to follow the Court’s Order(s), you could be found to be in Contempt of Court.  This could even lead to imprisonment or fines.  Even if the Court does not place you in prison or impose a fine, it certainly will place you in a bad light and work to your detriment.

Being sentimental towards personal property

Most personal property (cars, furniture) is considered marital property and in many instances has little cash value.  You also might have certain property that has mostly sentimental value.  Regardless of the property itself, it is important for you to let go of your nostalgic attachment to it.  Failure to let go of sentimentality could negatively impact your divorce by lengthening the process, thus adding additional costs, and an emotional toll on you as a result.  It might be better to just let go of sentimental property then to fight to keep it.

David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office, P.C. have helped hundreds of clients in their divorce.  David Badanes is well respected throughout the field and has the experience and knowledge to help you.  The Badanes Law Office helps clients in Suffolk County, Nassau County and in New York City.

If you are seeking a divorce, call David Badanes and the Badanes Law Office at 631-239-1702, email at or visit our web site:  The Badanes Law Office has offices in Northport and Uniondale.

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